Hear ye, hear ye! Let it be known throughout the realm, to all friends, kin, and loyal subjects, that on the twenty-fifth day of September, Her Royal Highness Princess Willow did arrive at her new castle and take up residence. The household is in a state of great delight, and has been much instructed in the proper serving of her wishes.
Herein follow the decrees, discoveries, and diplomatic incidents of her first fortnight (very nearly), set down by her humble Keeper of the Royal Litter Box.
Decrees of the Realm
Decree the First: That the Bed Be Hers
After much exploring of the kingdom, Her Majesty discovered that one may hide beneath the bed sheets and sleep. She hath formally accepted the territory known as “The Bed” into her dominion. The Keeper was not consulted. Silly cat.
Decree the Second: That Confinement Cease
On the second of October, the Princess did formally request that she be confined no longer. The request was promptly denied. An appeal is expected.
Decree the Third: That the Royal Physician Be Obeyed
A small matter of the royal health hath come to light, and the Royal Physician hath prescribed a daily tonic. Her Majesty finds the ceremony undignified, yet within minutes she is forgiving, and demanding to play. Spirits are high, appetite is strong, and the Keeper is most grateful for her gracious nature.
The Royal Measures
Three ounces of fine royal growth in but a few days. The kingdom is well fed.
Royal Playtime
The Court Chronicle
- 25th of September
- The Princess arrives and is lodged in the Chamber of Adjustment (the second bathroom). She taketh to the automated Royal Privy at once, which is most impressive.
- 26th of September
- Furniture is assembled and kin come to call. Several were granted the honour of petting her, as she lounged in the royal sink.
- 27th of September
- A scare! The Princess wedged herself behind the washer and dryer and was gently retrieved, for the safety of the realm.
- 28th of September
- The Bed is claimed. See Decree the First.
- 29th of September
- The Royal Physician delivereth news and tonic. Courtier Mark, loyal as ever, dropped off the medicine and a royal scale.
- 30th of September to 2nd of October
- The tonic is administered each morning. On the final day it was done with a towel, a slower hand, and a short intermission, and all went smoothly. Wet and dry provisions are still devoured.
- 3rd of October
- The Princess is reweighed. The overnight food went untouched, which the Keeper suspects is the start of a food protest. She demands playtime and tolerateth the Keeper’s company.